


Out of The Woods

by tyrantsandcreampuffs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Eventual Relationships, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Slow Burn, all the angsty revelations one expects from being stranded together, all the fun things one expects from being stranded together, and yes it is a good idea to name a fic after a taylor swift song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5704345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyrantsandcreampuffs/pseuds/tyrantsandcreampuffs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a reconnaissance mission gone awry, Rey finds herself left behind on a different planet. While she knows a thing or two about waiting in solitude for someone to rescue her, this time she's not alone. She's trapped with the person she was trying to outrun in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for falling into the problematic ship that is Kylo Ren/Rey, but it's not really surprising given my track record for OTPs. This is my second reylo fic and this time I'm planning to write something longer. Not quite epic-level, but it could actually lead to it if I'm up for it. My problem is that I have like five other WIPs calling to be finished and I just had to write this down before the idea left me, so...
> 
> I have this planned out! I swear I do. I have an Actual Plot and this is Going Somewhere. Still, I'd love to hear your thoughts! 
> 
> (or you can hit me up on my tumblr @kaathiiee and talk to me about reylo feels. Pls talk to me; I need friends)

There was a fire. That much, Rey remembered. They were being pursued by the First Order and as soon as they tried to switch to hyper-drive, something had gone wrong. It wasn’t the usual wrong that could be fixed by simple tinkering and maybe even brute force; no, it was _disastrous_. She couldn’t pinpoint where the flames had begun, which wires had sparked to create the inferno that was consuming their ship at such a rapid rate that if C3-PO was there, he would probably have said that their chances of surviving were a flat zero.

But by some divine intervention, she was _alive_. The searing pain at the back of her head was enough indication that she was still up and capable of feeling. She couldn’t recall how she’d ended up on a life-pod, but there she was, strapped and aching as she stood in place, but most importantly, _alive_.

Rey struggled to reach for the button that would release her bindings. The straps retreated to their holder with a _click_ and with her body no longer constricted, she fell forward. With a grunt, she pulled herself up and tried to regain her bearing, pushing the hurt in her body away with the thought that she could still be in danger. Adrenaline flashed through her veins and she forced herself to keep moving, to figure out where she had ended up and to find out if the others on the ship had survived as well.

Still a little bit disoriented, it took Rey a while to recall the sequence that would unlock the door of the pod. The screen of the pod, though cracked, said that she successfully landed on a planet, though which one, it didn’t say. Rey would have to find out for herself. Once the hatch unlocked with a long hiss, Rey prepared herself for whatever could be waiting for her outside by holding on to the hilt of her lightsaber, her thumb ready to activate the weapon, her mind prepared to face whichever malicious lifeforms could be on this planet.

When she stepped out, though, nothing greeted her but a gust of wind, blowing at her loosened wrappings and unclipped hair. On instinct, Rey closed her eyes. The sands of Jakku weren’t ever pleasant to have in her eyes, so it became an ingrained reaction for her to shut them whenever she felt wind on her face. When she reopened her eyes, Rey saw a world full of green. It was different from the shades she saw on Takodana. That green had been flecked with blue skies and grand lakes. This planet contrasted the light of Takodana with the dark hues of the forestry around her. The trees stretched upward and didn’t seem to end. The sky was nowhere to be seen, but light was still able to filter its way through the leaves and branches, casting shadows all over the forest floor. From where Rey stood, she could see nothing but trees ahead of her, no paved path to tell her which way to lead her to any semblance of comfort.

She was alone, and this terrified her more than she cared to admit. Despite her own fears, she couldn’t afford to not do anything. Outside of the peace of her surroundings, there was a greater war ongoing in the universe – one in which she accidentally fell into and now had a greater role in. She was not quite a Jedi, but she was a half-baked warrior with a strong connection to the Force that could help the Resistance turn the tides in their favor. Rey was finally _someone_ now, but being trapped on a planet she couldn’t name wasn’t helping anyone, except perhaps her cause’s enemies.

“Hello?” she called out, not loud enough to merit an echo in the vastness of the woods. “Is anyone there?”

She held her breath and waited for a response of any sort, but nothing came. It didn’t come as a surprise as Rey neither expected nor hoped for someone to be in her immediate vicinity. Once she felt she was safe from any possible threat, Rey put herself at ease and replaced the hilt of the saber to its pocket at her side. She thought of the action steps she should take. As a new fighter of the Resistance, she had been briefed on various situations, including one wherein she was stranded. Those lectures had been rushed and a lot of things were only brushed over, but that didn’t matter to her. Rey was a _survivor_. In one planet or another, she’d find a way to take care of herself. She always has.

Her first step, she knew, was to try to contact the Resistance and alert them of her status. If they could afford to dispatch someone to rescue her, they would. She went back into the pod and went straight for the panel. She remembered seeing it cracked earlier before she went out, but not completely inoperative. Rey pressed a few buttons until she reached the prompt to send a distress signal back to the nearest base, then – _nothing_. The screen displayed its inability to be used as a communication device, the error being traced to jammers in her surroundings.

 _The trees?_ Rey thought to herself. There were only trees around her – could they have been interfering with her communications? She was frustrated, but knew that not remaining calm in her situation was worse. Luke Skywalker had only trained her in force matters for a few weeks, but he had made sure to ingrain in her that frustrations were not to be acted on in any violent manner, that doing so was a step to the darkness. She took a deep breath and centered herself. Now that she wasn’t running on the momentum of her initial adrenaline, she was beginning to feel weary. She felt the weight of her previous quest, of the fighting that went on at the end of her reconnaissance mission, when the First Order had caught on to their presence and chased them as they fled.

She shook her head and cleared her mind. What had occurred did not compare to her current circumstance. First and foremost, she felt herself unwinding – and it wasn’t just because of her mounting fatigue. It had been hours since she’d eaten, and with all the energy she had physically expended, she needed to consume something to keep her going.

Rey turned around and slid part of the wall that revealed a shelf. On it was a small rucksack which contained packets of instant food and a few bottles of water. On Jakku, Rey would have been desperate to keep the water – but here, she was confident that she’d find water almost anywhere. Trees didn’t grow on desolate soils. She took the packets and counted ten of them. If she was smart – and she _was_ – she’d be able to stretch them to a little over two weeks. She’d have to go without eating for a while, but she’d been used to hunger when she was a little girl that the thought didn’t scare her. Now, however, she had to consume one pack because the pricks of pain at the back of her head added with the pangs in her stomach made Rey feel herself on the verge of fainting.

Once she had her fill, Rey felt better than she did just minutes ago. She set aside the bowl she filled her food in and stepped out of the pod again. While she didn’t know where in the galaxy she was, at least she wasn’t on a barren one where she’d have to struggle for water or one where she had to fight off unfriendly aliens that wanted her flesh for whatever nefarious purpose.

She walked a good few meters away from the hunk of metal that was her pod, then she sat on the firm earth, folding her legs beneath her. Rey closed her eyes and took deep breaths, finding peace in the constant pattern she built for herself. She had learned this from Luke Skywalker and while she wasn’t very adept at using the force with an exercised control, she was getting better at it – or so she wanted to believe. The force was supposed to connect all things in the universe and this planet was no exception. After a few minutes, Rey could feel the roots of the trees, the underground network that ran deeper than she could imagine, that connected each plant that grew on this planet. She felt the vastness of this world, how it was covered with foliage all around, towering over her and clouding the skies. She felt the life of each plant, how they breathed to give her the air she was consuming. She felt—

A human heartbeat.

It was unmistakable. The lives of the succulents were all entangled like their roots; what she had felt, on the other hand, stood out like a sore thumb. Whoever else was on this planet wasn’t calling out to her in particular, but she could still feel their presence nonetheless. The more she sought it out, the more she tried to isolate the source, she felt the person’s heartbeat weakening, slowing down. She opened her eyes and gave in to the compulsion to _help_. It was just her on this planet that could help the other person and it wasn’t in Rey’s character to simply disregard a life, especially one in need.

She took the small device that would alert her of any attempted communication with the pod and strapped it around her wrist. She had spent years of her life hoping someone would take her away from the last planet she was left in; in comparison, this didn’t feel as emotionally heavy and Rey knew she would be able to handle this new waiting game.  She took one unopened bottle of water and the remaining packs of food and placed them back in the rucksack she found them in earlier. There were other items in the bag that Rey found useful – such as a torch, a knife, some medicine and creams she could use to treat injuries, among others. She sealed the pod as she left and did not look back; she tried to feel for the other person, to let the force direct her where she was needed to be. She was on a mission that no one could deter her from and with her eyes closed, she navigated through the woods as though she had spent her entire life in it.

It felt like hours had passed when her feet stopped moving to the motions the force dictated. When Rey opened her eyes, she found herself at the edge of a clearing, a small field of wild grass and bright flowers. Sunlight streamed through the large gap between the trees where she stood and the ones across the meadow. Rey looked up and saw the sky was fading into the night, taking on deep tints of purple with an orange gradient. Everything about the scenery was beautiful and if Rey hadn’t come here for any other purpose, she would lean against a tree and sit and just watch until the sun completely fades. But she was here for someone who needed her help more than she wanted to watch the dusk settle on this planet, so she trudged on, searching in the semi-dark for whoever she had felt.

“Hello?” she called out once more, louder than she did earlier in the forest by herself. “I know you’re there. The force brought me here to you because you needed me.”

Like before, she heard no response. _Am I too late?_ Rey thought, before shaking the negative thought out of her mind. She knew she wasn’t; she could still feel the other person. It was getting darker with every second passed wherein she didn’t act. The grass was tall enough to conceal a person lying down, and the field stretched for more than a mile in all directions – she couldn’t afford to just blindly walk through and hope to stumble across the one she was looking for.

She closed her eyes and felt it again, the other person’s heartbeat. She followed the sound in her mind, the echoing against her ears, and when she reopened her eyes, she saw a body lying on the ground only meters away. She didn’t even give it a second thought. Rey sprinted and was on the ground beside the person in seconds.

“ _Oh_ ,” she said, her own heart raising as panic set in. “Please, please don’t die on me.”

They were lying prostrate and Rey didn’t know if whatever injuries they had sustained would allow for her to move them. However, indecision had no place in this meadow as she could hear the ragged breathing of the person – _man_ beside her. He was too big to flip over by herself, so she took a few steps back. She hadn’t been able to move something with the force that was bigger than her, but she had to _try_. Rey concentrated on the man and willed him to move, to turn him over as gently as possible. It was a struggle, but by the time she was able to pull off the feat, darkness had taken over the world and the stars twinkled in the heavens above them, casting their distant light on the field Rey and this stranger were on.

Rey took out the torch from her bag and once she pointed its’ light on the man’s face, she dropped it on the ground with a sharp gasp. The torch fell with a _thud_ and rolled, yet still illuminated the stranger.

Except, he wasn’t unfamiliar to her at all.

It was _Kylo Ren_ – unmasked and wounded; and just a few hours ago, he was trying to kill her.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey had felt this before, the temptation to kill him. She had faced Kylo Ren a few times after her very first escape from Starkiller Base, but never had she been consumed by the same rage and desperation to axe him as she had after witnessing the fall of Han Solo. As tempted as she was then, the thought of taking a life with her own hands had terrified her more. It was a step into the darkness, she knew, and that was a path she never wanted to take. In the ensuing battles she had always tried to be on the defensive side, never striking out first and only attacking lethally if necessary. She had exercised restraint because the light never sought out conflict, the light never sought out killing for the sake of killing.

But now – she wished she could just turn around and pretend that she had never felt his presence on this forsaken planet; that she had never thought of coming to his rescue. Rey knew better than most that underneath his mask of Kylo Ren was Ben Solo, a boy that didn’t know which were the right choices to make. She knew he shared the same sense of loss and confusion as she had, but she also knew that he ignored those feelings and pushed them away in order to stay in the darkness. He _wanted_ to be there. How could she want to save him now? How could she feel compassion for someone who didn’t want to be saved?

Despite how much she desired to up and leave, to let him die out slowly with whatever injuries he sustained, she _couldn’t_. The side of the light would never abandon a person in need, even with that said person’s never-ending list of bad deeds. She knew that at the end of the day, Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker were still waiting for their beloved Ben Solo to come back to them. His death would be on her hands if she left, and she’d have to deal with that guilt for the rest of her life.

So she made up her mind. She knelt beside the unconscious man and stretched out her arms in front of her, over his body. Her hands were trembling; she tried to take deep breaths to center herself, to concentrate on her task of finding what was wrong with him. She felt his pain – the one that was physically hurting him – and once she saw the source was a few broken ribs, she sought to fix it. Or at least attempt to as she had never tried healing with the force before. It was a difficult feat and she was nowhere near the level of training that even allowed her to try, but she had to do _something_.

The next hour was spent on her trying to align his bones and mend the cracks. She was willing them to fix themselves as she repeated the mantra in her head: _Ben Solo’s injuries will be healed._ She was exhausted and there were tears escaping the corner of her eyes as she felt her frustration pile up; she didn’t know if what she was doing was working at all, but he was still breathing, so she was still trying. And trying. And trying until she heard him breathe out with a long shudder. When she felt him shift and sit up, her eyes flew open and met his wild gaze. He was looking at her like he was at a loss, confounded.

Rey stood and took a few steps back, bringing her hands up to her face to wipe the wetness below her eyes away. She couldn’t believe that she had actually done it, and as much as she felt relief wash over her, she was so, _so_ tired – but there was this new problem of having Kylo Ren awake and before he could make any sort of movement, she outstretched her hand and the hilt of his lightsaber came flying. When he caught on to what she had done, he had tried to raise his own hand and pull his weapon back, but she knew that he was too weak to accomplish anything. He was outwardly wincing, straining himself with the use of the force. She watched as he tried to stand, only for his legs to give in on him – and he came crashing down on the soft earth.

“Give it back,” he growled; knees on the dirt, hands clutching at the grass in an attempt to hold himself upright. He gave off the appearance of a petty child throwing yet another tantrum. “Give it back, _little girl_ , or else—”

“Or else what?” she cut him off, putting a hand to her hip and glaring at him. “Will you fight me for it? Look at you, _Ben Solo_. You can hardly stand! You should be thanking me for saving your sorry ass instead of leaving you here because believe me, I _wanted_ to.”

They stayed that way for a while, trying to stare each other down, the stars reflecting in the intensity of their gazes. Rey felt so close to giving up first, to closing her eyes and maybe fall asleep on what appeared to be comfortable soil, but Ben looked away first and with a grunt, lay back down on the earth.

“You do-gooders don’t do what you do for the sake of praise,” he said stiffly, intently looking at the sky above them. It was quiet enough to hear his exhalations when he paused, and Rey wondered if he could hear her heart pounding in her chest because she could hear its echo ringing in her ears as he spoke. “But _thank you_. For what it’s worth.”

She couldn’t believe that he had actually expressed his gratitude. Her mouth hung open, dumbfounded by the sudden _gentleness_ he had displayed. If she had to admit it, she was disappointed. She had expected him to put up a fight of sorts, but instead he had fallen back. He wasn’t even paying her any attention. He was focused on the stars overhead and he was squinting, scrunching his brows in a display of concentration. When he rolled his head to face her, Rey seized up with panic as she had been caught watching him.

“You will fall asleep,” she said, pushing the suggestion to his mind with a wave of her hand. It was a Jedi trick she easily picked up on and never struggled with. But just to be sure, she repeated, “You _will_ fall asleep.”

“I…” With no protest at all, Ben submitted to Rey’s words and lolled over. She was rooted where she stood and could only watch as his eyes fluttered to a close. She waited for his breathing to even out before she approached him and when she put two fingers on his neck, she felt his pulse slow, signifying that he was still alive and really just asleep.

Seeing him resting reminded her of her own exhaustion that she had been putting off for the whole day; the lethargy that was beginning to sink into her limbs was something she could no longer ignore. It was surprising even Rey how she was still standing. Taking one last look at the sleeping man she had just saved, she turned around and walked back into the woods. It was too dark to navigate by herself and she was too tired to channel the force around her to guide her, but she knew she had to get away from him.

She could hardly concentrate on the task of walking, but she persevered and pushed through the large roots and the low branches. She used her hands to feel for her surroundings, using what little energy she had left to move on and on until she was sure she was a good distance away from the clearing. She stopped near the base of one of the trees and sank to her knees. As much as she wanted to close her eyes and fall asleep there and then, she still had something to do if she wanted to survive.

With shaking hands, she clawed at the dirt, the grit caking her nailbeds and filling her hands. She pushed away each mound of earth she took into one pile and continued with her task of digging until she had created a sizeable hole at least three feet deep. Her eyes were drooping and threatening to fall on her, so she slapped herself awake. The mud had gotten to her face, but she didn’t care for that. Unceremoniously, she threw Kylo Ren’s lightsaber into the small pit and then used the force to recover the ditch.

Rey was breathing laboriously, her already stunted vision in the dark was hazing; and she could no longer feel the extremities of her body. She was worn-out and could no longer support herself physically or mentally. Without another thought, she fell on her back, over the spot where she had buried Kylo Ren’s weapon, and fell to a deep slumber.

* * *

There was a sluggishness that accompanied her rising – something that she’d never felt before, not even from scavenging on the demanding terrains of Jakku. She had drained herself yesterday and it didn’t feel like she had rested enough. Rey couldn’t tell how long she had been out because the day looked the same within the cover of the trees. The white light of the sun streamed through the high branches and leaves and settled on her face. She embraced its warmth and stood, stretching her sore muscles as she did so.

While she had already planned out how she would handle her food rations, she had to eat something _now_. Berating herself mentally, she took out one of the food packs and ate half of its contents. Now she had eight and a half left – and she wasn’t as sure as she was yesterday about surviving on it for the next few weeks when she wasn’t alone. It wasn’t that she was supposed to be responsible for what happened to Ben Solo, but she felt like she had a duty to her master and his sister to at least _try_ to not let him die. She had done exactly that yesterday, and while she was sure to regret it sooner or later, she stubbornly knew that she had made the right call.

Rey looked beyond the foil casing of the food packet and saw the sorry state of her hands. They were covered with small cuts and scratches, and she had also broken off the top of most of her nails. It was not a new sight to her, as she had often scraped her hands as a scavenger. She didn’t know how to heal in cases that weren’t life or death, like it was with _him_ yesterday, so she left them be. Her hands were still dirty, so there was no point to using ointment and treating the wounds now. Their healing would have to wait for when Rey found a fresh water source, a stream of sorts which she knew existed as she had felt it when she explored the planet through the force.

She repacked the food and replaced it back inside the bag, along with the other packs she promised to herself she wasn’t going to touch again until the fourth day. She took out the water bottle and drank from it, relishing in the cold liquid that quenched her thirst. She finished its contents and resealed the cap and then threw the bottle back into the rucksack. Once she had returned everything inside the bag, she flung it over her shoulder.

Today was going to be spent finding water, Rey decided, as she needed to wash all the grit off of her skin and she needed to refill her own drinking supply. She checked the small device strapped on to her wrist and saw that there were still no active communication channels that were getting through. With a heavy sigh, she set her arm back down to her side. She would also have to come back to her pod to see what she could do to get communications back up. She’d just have to get by for a while – which she knew she could handle by herself.

With Kylo Ren on the loose, though, she wasn’t as sure.

She closed her eyes and immediately sensed him. He was laying still at the same space in the meadow she had left him the night before, most likely still recuperating. She didn’t know if she could trust him to actually be civil and not attempt to murder her in her sleep – she didn’t even know if she wholly trusted herself not to do the same to him. But they had to reach a compromise of sorts if they both wanted to find a way off this planet, and she was willing to cooperate with him if he knew how to bypass the issues with communications.

The water source was on the other side of the forest, the still unexplored region that was beyond the clearing, so she had to pass by the sleeping Ben if she wanted to get there with the path with the least distance. Now that she wasn’t as tired, she could use the force to guide her way once more. It didn’t take long for her to reach the sleeping _man-child_ , as she liked to think of him.

It was the first time she had seen him this way, so _vulnerable_ in sleep. It was different from when he first showed her his face beneath the mask – back then, he had done it as some sort of ploy, to get her to join his side. Now, though, he looked almost helpless; like the lost boy he really was. His dark hair stuck out in odd places, and there was this stray piece that was sticking to his cheek.  She couldn’t help but snort at the sight. _Kylo Ren_ would have never show himself this way, as though he had no control even over his own hair.

Rey twitched her fingers and used the force to move the strands to the side of his face. Even from a distance, she could see the scar that trailed over the slope of his right cheek – the one she had given him from their very first battle, the very same he most likely would never forgive her for. His eyes were shut tight and if Rey had been standing closer to him, she would have seen the shadows his lashes cast and the freckles that were scattered all over his pale face. There was a tragic beauty about him, and Rey didn’t know if what she was feeling was misplaced admiration or pity.

After she took out one food pack and the unopened bottle of water from her bag, she placed it a few feet away from him. He was going to wake soon and he needed the nutrient source to sustain him if he wanted to recuperate with his injuries. When she was sure he wasn't going to wake while she was still there, she walked past him and trudged on. It wouldn’t do her any good if she was caught staring at him – _again_. For now, Rey had to focus on finding her way to the stream.

But even then, her thoughts would go back to the sleeping Ben Solo, and how he didn’t look as haunted as he did when he was awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there isn't much dialogue in the first few chapters. Things should be picking up soon and they'll finally start interacting in the next chapter -- which will be out within the week, I swear.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. If you have the time, please check out this fanmix I made for the ship we love so much [here](http://www.8tracks.com/kaathiiee/the-spaces-in-between-two-minds).


	3. Chapter 3

From the meadow she left Kylo Ren at, the stream was almost an hour’s trek away. It wasn’t so bad, though – she knew there were harsher worlds to walk through. Here, on this planet, the ambient temperature, the silence of the woods and the fact that she didn’t have to fear for wild beasts to come out from behind the trees and eat her alive made her journey a relatively peaceful one. The only troubling thoughts she had were about the man she had just left behind and what should happen when he awoke, but she had quickly forgotten all about him once she saw the alluring blue of the nearest water source on this planet.

It was _enchanting_. Water was a rare commodity back in Jakku, and it only ever came out of rusted pipes and fell from the infrequent rain. In the short time she stayed with the Resistance on D’Qar, she had been initially amazed by how they could change the temperature and pressure of the water; those showers felt like a luxury. On Ahch-To, where she had found her master, the oceans had terrified her with their vastness and darkness. But here – here, the stream was clear enough that she could see the ground below the running water. It was nothing to be exalted or feared; it was something beautiful that just existed naturally, and Rey smiled in her appreciation.

She unwrapped the fabric around her arms and unwound her bindings, stripping herself of each article of clothing until she was left bare. She had cringed upon seeing the spots of dark blue blossoming over her arms and legs, a reminder of her clumsiness as she walked through the forest in the dark just to hide Kylo Ren’s weapon. There were also rather deep scratches from being caught in roots and hit by low branches. Her clothes had been cut through and stained with blood and it was just as unappealing to look at as the bruises on her body. Gathering the tarnished garments in her arms, she carried them to the side of the stream, where she settled on a rock and began washing the blemishes away from the fabric.

Once she could do what she could for her wears, she set them on the low branches of a nearby tree to dry out. Then, she returned to the stream, dipping first her feet before she lowered the rest of her body into the warm waters. It was _bliss_ , that’s what it was. She didn’t know how to swim, but the stream didn’t go any higher than her shoulders, so she only needed to walk to get to the center, where the unleveled rocks made a small waterfall and nook she could settle herself into. Once she was sat, she closed her eyes and relaxed as the light pressure of the falling waters fell onto her aching shoulders.

The monotony of the movements of her surroundings was a precursor for deep meditation, which led to a deep slumber not long afterwards. Beneath the soft crashes of the water against her sore muscles, Rey slept, standing. It wasn’t really odd for her to do so; Luke had taught her how to enter a peaceful trance. Meditation was all in the mind and not hindered by the physical state of one’s body. She could calm herself at a moment’s notice and shut the rest of the world out, unaware of her surroundings, but still connected to the force – as everything was. She could force the tranquility upon another being, as Kylo Ren had once done to her.

And when her thoughts went back to him, her eyes flew open and she fell back into the water, slipping on a stone beneath the waters as she took a step. She flailed as she attempted to set herself back upright, not quite sure how to carry herself when surrounded by a body of water. Once she had herself standing and leaning on a stone pillar, she wiped the moisture out of her eyes to see clearly – that Kylo Ren was standing by the tree where she had hung her wet wears, and he was staring right at her.

She seized up and set her arms to cover herself. The water was becoming cold, but she could feel her flesh flare with heat as mortification set in.

“I’m not bothered by your state of undress,” he said in such a surly tone that he sounded like was disgusted by the sight of her. “I’m not so poorly trained as to be distracted by _you_.”

“Well, I’m bothered by _your_ presence!” she squawked indignantly in response. “Turn around _now_ or you’ll regret that I healed you in the first place!”

Rey waited for him to relent, willing her heart to slow. There went all her calm, and what was left was a fury that wasn’t so much fueled by hatred as it was by her own shame. Her saber was still in its hilt, and from the water she could see him investigate the weapon she built for herself after she relinquished Luke’s. She knew that if he wanted to take it, he would, and it would be in his possession before she could think about pulling it to her, and she would be defenseless and would _lose_.

But he didn’t take it. He swiveled around and walked to another tree and faced the bark, still in her sight. And for the second time, he had surprised her by conceding to her orders. She stayed in the water for a few more minutes, savoring the coolness against her skin before she had to rise and get back to land. By now her hands were all wrinkly, but she didn’t think of it. She was now looking at Kylo Ren – _Ben Solo_ – with his back turned to her. He had discarded most of his armor and was left with only a simple shirt and his trousers, both wears in his customary black. It was a huge reminder that beneath his façade of the all-too powerful First Order Commander, he was still just another human being.

She propelled herself forward and went out of the stream, pulling the beads of water on the surface of her skin away using the force. With her eye still trained on his back, she stalked back to her clothes – which were now dry – and started redressing herself when he began to talk.

“My own pod was burning up in the atmosphere of this planet,” he said. “I had gotten out and fell from the skies, shielding myself. I traced the landing trajectory when I woke up, but found nothing salvageable.”

“And why are you telling me this?” she asked, tying the end of her wrappings and pulling at it to make sure it was fit properly. It was the last that she needed to attend to, and now she was fully clothed.

“I could practically _feel_ your curiosity burning through my back,” he answered with a shrug of his shoulders as he turned back around to face her, raising a brow when he spotted her hand hovering over the hilt of her saber. “You wanted to know how I ended up here on – who knows what planet this is. Despite the little training you’ve had since we last met, you’re no better at shielding your thoughts.”

Rey had to choke back her own anger, the temptation of _hurting_ him just for the sake of it. The thoughts were there – they were _always_ there – but she wouldn’t act on them. He was saying things to rile her up, to push her beyond her limits; but she could be calm. She _was_ calm.

“It wasn’t just your ship that had something go wrong.” This time, his voice was more serious and softer, like he was retreating and thinking more to himself. “Something had gone wrong, and you don’t know what it was. You don’t know what happened to the rest of your crew. You think they’re dead, and since you’re here and you’re alive, you blame yourself…”

His last sentence made her aware of what was happening; what he was _doing_. She pushed him out of her mind and was now seething, shaking, her rage consuming her thoughts. With a flick of her wrist, he was backed up against the tree; she was using the force to hold his neck in place, and while he was gagging, he was also _laughing_.

“Tell me, is this not simpler? To use all your anger and frustration to fuel your power?”

She wanted to say _no_ , to tell him that he was _wrong_ , but that would have been a lie. Normally, she wouldn’t have been able to even lift him – but there he was, against the bark of the tree with his feet hanging in the air, and it was her use of the force that was suspending him. She dropped her arm to her side and he fell back to the ground, wincing as he landed.

“If we both want to get off this planet, then you and I are going to have to work together,” she said, ignoring his earlier questions and prodding. Hot tears were threatening to fall from the corner of her eyes, but she held them in. She wouldn’t give him the victory of seeing her defeated by his influence. “And we’re going to set some ground rules. First, don’t you _dare_ try to get into my mind again.”

“Second?” he asked, nonplussed as he stood and shook off the dirt on his clothes.

“I’m in charge,” she declared, glaring at him. “My pod’s still mostly functioning and can be used for communications, which I have the code to access. I doubt you know anything about tinkering with electronics, so you need me more than I need you.”

He rolled his eyes at her last comment.

“I saw your rations, and they’re not going to sustain you for long. I’d give you a week, at most.”

“I can stretch them to _two_. I've survived on less for longer than you could imagine. You don’t know hunger like _I_ do.”

For a split second, he looked impressed, but then his face fell and he looked like he didn’t care that she would manage for longer than he expected.

“You don’t know how to find food on this planet. _I_ do.”

And just to prove his point, he took the bark from the tree he was leaning on and put it in his mouth. She watched as he chewed on it and swallowed it down with no water. And Rey – she wouldn’t let her pride back down. She took a piece of the bark from the tree that was closest to her and almost put it in her mouth, had he not used the force to pull the piece into his own hand.

“Consuming this would have made you spill all the meager contents of your stomach,” he said with a smirk as he tossed the hapless wood to the floor. With a shake of his head, he continued, “You’re hopeless; you can’t even tell that that tree is different from the one I had just taken from.”

Rey, as much as she dreaded it, conceded to his statement. “I wouldn’t really need to because I’m sure I’ll have the communications back up before _I_ run out of food. You’re the one who should worry about starving in the meanwhile.”

“You’re not going to let me starve,” he said, not suggestively, but he was just as confident in saying so.

“I’m not going to let you _die_ ,” she clarified. “Trust me, while starving may feel like dying, it’s quite different and the former is much more miserable. But since you’ve proven that you’re capable of feeding yourself, I’m not going to bother.”

“Why?” He was now searching her eyes, beseeching. It bothered Rey when she looked into the dark brown of them, the torment beneath that wasn’t he wasn’t even trying to hide. “Why not just let me die? You’ve already said it, you _don’t_ need me, _Rey_. On this planet alone, you’ve had more than one chance to kill me. Why didn’t you?”

 _Why didn’t she?_   Because she wasn’t like him. She wasn’t caught up in vendettas and quests for glory that she’d blindly kill and murder. She wouldn’t fall into the dark, not completely, not like he had. He was lonely underneath it all, just like she once was, and she didn’t want to go back to living her life like she had no one else.

“You’re valuable to this war,” she answered, biting her lip down to stop it from trembling, from giving her own fear of him away. “And not just to the First Order. Your mother and your uncle—”

“Ben Solo is dead,” he cut her off gruffly. “He died a long time ago and he is never coming back.”

“I don’t care who Ben Solo is supposed to be, but I’m sure not going to call you _Kylo Ren_ for so long as we’re here, so you’re going to have to deal with it, _Ben_.”

He didn’t respond to that, so she huffed and mentally told herself that she had won this round and should just accept it. With a shake of her head, she hung the rucksack back over her shoulders and said, “Come on. We’re going to the pod, and it’s going to be a long trek. I want to make it there before it gets dark again, so we should go now.”

She led the way, and he followed with a good distance between them. With her eyes closed, she felt for her surroundings using the force, and she could feel his resentment for her as they walked. That was fine by her because she hated him just as much and didn’t like the thought of having extra baggage as she found a way to be rescued, but he was there, actually cooperating and not trying to kill her, so she wasn’t going to complain.

It wasn’t the makings of a _good_ day, but with _him_ now conscious, Rey could imagine that it could have gone much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm running a Reylo Valentine's Gift Exchange and I'd love for you guys to [sign up](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1ywCBtFkdVKFcZYI3-daer0bO_CLjxygPcQhUKBiNBBw/viewform?c=0&w=1)! Or if you have a tumblr, you can help spread the word by reblogging [the original post](http://kaathiiee.tumblr.com/post/137739682459/hello-bensolosrey-and-i-want-to-make-our).
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter! I know it's short, but I don't like pushing myself to write something longer because I end up with unnecessary bits that just lower the quality of the story. As I promised, they've started interacting now. More dialogue will definitely come up in the next chapter, too. Let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken them about three hours to get back to her pod. Rey was sure she alone could have gotten back in just two, but she had to wait for Ben to keep up with her. He wasn’t as rested as he ought to be, so he was winded every other two-hundred meters or so. While he had refilled his water bottle back at the stream, he was still depleting his supply at a rate much faster than hers.

She had turned around once in the entirety of their trek – she was concentrating on navigating and didn’t need the added stress from arguing with him. Not that she was sure they were going to argue if she had attempted conversation, but she wasn’t going to risk it either.

“Do you want to stop and rest for a bit?” she had asked, her eyebrows raised in concern as she watched him descend a slope with a hand clutching at his side. The last time he was wounded there, he was _pounding_ at the injury, forcing the hurt to keep himself moving forward. This time, though, he wasn’t doing anything about it and was just bracing himself with every step down.

He had grit his teeth at her, looking insulted while taking in his pain. “Just go. The faster you can fix whatever’s wrong with your communications, the sooner we can get off this damned planet.”

Once they had caught site of her pod, he leaned on a tree a few meters away and slid down to the ground; he was panting hard and the sweat he had expended made his shirt cling onto his body – attractively, Rey would admit, but she was more alarmed over the possibility of him collapsing than his physicality.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” she inquired again, placing her hands over her hips. She was trying to appear angry with him, but she found it to be more difficult than she thought when he looked _terrible_. “I’m not sure how long it will take for me to tweak around—”

“I’m not going to die on you, if that’s what you’re asking,” he answered back with a low growl, wheezing between his words. He broke their eye contact and instead beheld up to the canopy above. Rey couldn’t place the look in his eyes; it was the gentlest she’d seen him – like he was _resigned_ , almost. “After all, what good is a war prisoner dead?”

His last sentence took her aback. They had yet to actually speak of it out loud, but it was an implication they mutually understood. She was the only one who could provide them a way out of this planet; if he was going to escape, it would be _with_ her. He would be a war prisoner of the Resistance, and while Rey was sure General Leia wouldn’t want to lose sight of her son ever again even with all of his sins, someone as valuable as him to the First Order was still worth at least a hundred of the prisoners held captive by the enemy.

When it was clear that he wasn’t going to pay her any mind any longer, Rey withdrew. She entered the sequence that would unlock the pod and went straight for the communications panel. The small device on her wrist hadn’t lit up at all while she was away, so she knew that there hadn’t been any incoming transmissions. Still, it didn’t deter her. It had only been a few days; she wouldn’t lose hope – she would _never_ lose hope.

But with each cycle of the screen projecting _‘Cannot Complete Request_ ’ at her, Rey was beginning to think that it was helpless. She scanned through the input prompts, analyzing the pseudocode and translating it all in her head. Her attempts at changing the algorithms, bypassing the system to be able to send out _anything at all_ had led to nothing but failure. There was a stone dropping, settling at the bottom of her gut when she saw the futility of her attempts. Still, she couldn’t give up. She wasn’t going to be left behind – not _again_.

Instead of looking at the software, she tore the panel off the wall and looked at the wirings and the various parts beneath, humming as it was still being powered. She had to think up of an alternate solution. If she couldn’t make the communications run from the pod, then perhaps she could build a remote device instead, something that could keep running until it found a place on this planet that didn’t interfere with transmissions. It would mean her having to take apart the pod itself, but it was the best thing she could think of.

She was still weighing the merits of her dismantling the machination when she was brought out of her trance with a rapping on the other end of the pod. She had kept it sealed so as not to be distracted by anything – or rather, _anyone_ – from outside. The cracked screen next to the doorway displayed that enough time had passed since she went in; it was growing dark outside, and Ben Solo was standing, waiting for her.

He knocked once more.

“It’s getting dark,” he said; she rolled her eyes at his statement of the obvious. “Are you finished?”

Rey left her station and went to the entryway, hovering her hand over the button that would open the door. There was hesitation there, she knew it, and he most likely could sense it too. If he wanted, he could tear open the door himself to force her out – she was expecting something like that; she was afraid that he would suddenly lash out, as he was known to, blame _her_ for what poor circumstance they’ve found themselves in and fight her for what little control they could have. But instead he had been nothing but cooperative so far, and perhaps that terrified her even more.

The thought crossed her: _What is he if not the enemy?_

Here, they were just two people trying to find a way out. Isolated from the rest of the universe, entrapped on a planet neither of them knew of.

And another: _Who are we without the war?_

Was she going back to becoming _no one_? To a lowly scavenger girl, abandoned by her family to live by herself? She called him by his given name, but was he really Ben Solo here? Away from the responsibilities of a commander, away from the torturous tragedy of his past, who was Kylo Ren supposed to be?

She couldn’t find it in herself to open the door, afraid of what – _who_ – she’d have to confront if she did.

He could feel it. She was sure he did, because she could feel _him_ , too. Through the durasteel that physically separated them, she could sense her own distressed emotions in him. He was mirroring her feelings, and he was just as lost in searching for answers to those questions as she was. He couldn’t see her, but she could see the conflict pass on his face through the screen; the shared rush of confusion as to their own identities.

“I don’t know,” he said tentatively, looking overwhelmed himself. “I don’t…”

He turned away from the door and walked away, trudging through the grounds with his thick boots. They both needed to be far apart from one another, she understood. With them being the only two humans in near proximity, they could sense one another with a vividness that was almost devastating.

It was cramped in the pod, and there was barely enough space for her to lie down, but she didn’t want to leave. Whatever semblance of safety she could get from being inside, she would take it. Night had fallen and the day had once again been trying – physically and mentally. If she wanted to face another day with some vigor, then she had to rest.

With her back set against the cold metal wall, she closed her eyes and breathed in and out, over and over again until she fell asleep dreamlessly.

* * *

There was a crick in her neck when she woke up, but nothing a short massage with her fingers couldn’t alleviate. She stood up and stretched her arms upwards with a yawn. She was still tired, but she didn’t want to waste time if she was going to use the sunlight outside to work.

She thought of Ben Solo and felt him – about a mile away from her pod. He was already up and moving, probably searching for food. The thought reminded her of her own hunger and how she was pushing the pains in her stomach away. She hadn’t ever gone hungry since she joined the Resistance, and it had been a while since her discipline had been tested in this manner, but she knew she could survive without consuming anything. The rations in her rucksack would only be taken out if she felt like she was near-fainting.

Her hand found the button and the door unsealed itself. Fresh air circulated her lungs and Rey blinked once, twice to adjust to the sunlight streaming through the entryway. She regretted sleeping inside the pod when the earth outside wasn’t coarse and hard at all; the ground here looked more comfortable than sand. She stepped out and thought of practicing some forms first, just to energize and prepare herself for what she had to do for the day.

When she found space wide enough and without a view of the pod – as she didn’t need the sleek metal standing out in her vision to distract her – she spread her legs apart, standing firmly in the beginning stance. She took breaths from deep within her and shut the world out, concentrating only on her own form and on the force surrounding her, on the force flowing _through_ her.

The exercise itself only took a few minutes; it was an alternative to still-meditation that allowed one to center themselves, to find their connection to the force. It was supposed to bring balance to the self when there existed turmoil, confusion. And it was exactly what Rey needed as she couldn’t stop thinking of _him_.

Reopening her eyes, she felt clarity. She knew what she must do, which parts she could take from the pod to create her own working and moving transceiver. It was refreshing, revitalizing, and with a sense of purpose, she walked back to her pod to begin working.

The pod had been set at low power ever since she crashed, hence the humming of the parts through the thin panel. Rey prompted the command to shut it off completely. When the last thrums of electricity left the circuitry, Rey put her hand into the panel and began pulling at the parts she needed. In a way, it exhilarated her; reminding her of the comfortable routine she set up for herself back on Jakku.

She took the parts outside where it wasn’t so dim and set up a small shop on a nearby tree stump, broken off from the rest of its body from the force of her pod’s landing. There were some tools from the pod that she was using to set the wires, but that was about it. Rey was dependent on the dexterity of her own fingers to adjust the circuitry; and it helped a lot that she now knew how to control the force to assist her.

Time passed rather quickly as Rey was focused on building the device. She was no stranger to working with hardware and she didn’t feel any pressure with the task, except for the pangs of hunger she was purposefully ignoring. Grabbing the bottle set at her feet, Rey took a swig of water and emptied its contents. The weather was cool enough for her to not have to worry about her skin burning, so she had unwrapped the fabric covering her arms and was now using the cloth to wipe away the sweat forming on her brow.

She was about halfway done and was thinking of resting a bit. Closing her eyes, Rey imagined the blue of the stream she had dipped into yesterday. Its tranquil flow, the serenity that had encompassed her as she slept. In her head she had already elected it as her new favorite place in the universe, and when she thought of it, it calmed her. She remembered how nice it had felt to be in a body that wasn’t going to consume you, unlike the sinking sandpits and the crashing waves of the ocean.  She remembered the soothing sensations on her bare skin, the peaceful slumber, and then – the abruptness of his presence.

Ben Solo, it appeared, had a knack for catching her off guard.

“Damn it!” Rey screamed as she fell back, shooting a hand up to her chest where beneath her breastbone was her heart beating fiercely. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

He had only raised a brow, stopping himself short of rolling his eyes at her. “It is hardly my fault you distracted yourself with dreaming that you couldn’t sense me,” he answered with disdain, a sort of disappointment, before looking down at her working station. “What is this?”

The civility of his tone reminded her of what had passed between them just the night before. If he was going to play _nice_ despite the existing tensions between them, then she should, too, shouldn’t she?

“It’s a transceiver,” she explained, setting herself upright while patting the dust off her clothes. He “There is too much interference in this area. This thing’s going to move around, sending out distress signals until someone finally picks up on it.”

Rey looked up at him – he was still over half a foot taller than her – but he wasn’t facing her; he was intently examining the half-made device on the stump, like he was trying to make sense of what she was doing.

“You should eat something,” he finally said, lifting his gaze from the transceiver to meet hers. It would always flummox her, how he didn’t always look at her with animosity; how the softness of his eyes was something she never anticipated to be beneath the harsh metal of his mask. He held his palm out and berries fell into his hand, making Rey look up at the sky, wondering where they had come from until she realized he was holding them up all this time. Then, he offered the fruits to her.

Her stomach was begging her to take them, but still, she waited.

“They’re not poisonous.” He took one and put it in his mouth, swallowing it whole. “I had thought we established our dependence on one another. You find a way out, I find a way to survive; we don’t try to kill each other.”

“I can survive on my own, thank you very much,” she bit back, though she did accept the small berries. She waved her hand and the berries flew to her palm with the force. Taking one, she bit into it and the juices oozed out, filling her mouth with a delectable sweetness. “Where’d you find these?”

“Some bushes at the other side, near the clearing you found me in,” he promptly responded, though his eyes were trained on the transceiver again. “Those filters aren’t as important because you want to focus on the output more than the input. You can lessen the diodes it passes through to maximize amplification.”

“You know how to build a transceiver?” she asked, baffled by the knowledge he was spewing.

He nodded, though there was more pain at the prospect of admitting it than pride. “I learned when I was younger.”

“Alright,” Rey conceded, handing over the parts to him. She couldn’t deny that she was curious as to seeing what he knew. “Why don’t you give it a go?”

It wasn’t anywhere in her expectations that he would actually indulge her request, but he had surprised her by taking her spot in the makeshift workspace. He was tinkering with the circuit and she watched with odd interest as he removed some parts she had put in and replaced them with others. There was something discomforting about seeing him act _normal_ , but Rey told herself that while they were stranded together, she had to get used to seeing him in this light – to seeing him as _Ben Solo_.

And it was then that she realized that he could have learned to engineer a device from his father, Han Solo, the man she had looked up to and wanted to learn from, and the initial fascination turned to dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually taking up programming and circuit theory right now, so I wanted a way to incorporate the lessons in this fic somehow. (Yes engineering!)
> 
> They're working together now, yay! This chapter is the longest by far, but it ends on a weird note. Sorry about that. I hope you guys are still interested in where this story's going. I know the pacing isn't the best; this is my first attempt at writing a slow-burn fic, so all comments and suggestions for improvement are greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also, I made another reylo fanmix. [Check it out!](8tracks.com/kaathiiee/and-they-turned-to-the-gray-side/)


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